http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-moore/the-news-is-nuts_b_61275.html
Posted August 21, 2007 | 12:13 PM (EST)
"The wild roller coaster sells the amusement park tickets, not the merry-go-round."
- Chris Newlin, Eclectic Productions, Houston
There is no doubt the news is nuts. And the evidence is in every story and broadcast we hear, see, or read. Without conflict or drama, the news is uninteresting and when there is no conflict or drama, it must be manufactured.
"Hurricane Dean is approaching Central Mexico but that doesn't mean those of us in Houston are yet out of the Cone of Danger!!!! We are watching a high pressure system over Texas and if it weakens this storm could turn north right up the Gulf Coast and devastate every city in its path. Hell, it might even back up, go out in the gulf, power up to a category 5, and then run back on shore throwing giant waves, horrendous winds, and millions of illegal immigrants at us!!! Be prepared."
Sure, that's hyperbole, but it's also based in fact and protocol. TV weather people sound distraught when the storm misses their towns. Even political reporters would turn maudlin when disagreement turned to compromise. Who cares about resolution? Congress has to fight the president and he has to be contemptuous of Congress or there are no viewers and if there are no viewers there is no advertising and if there is no advertising there is no money and if there is no money there is no Wolf Blitzer. Hey, wait a minute, is that a bad thing?
Recent subpoenas issued by the Senate Judiciary Committee regarding the president's warrantless domestic wiretapping program caused Blitzer to say over and over and over that the Democrats were taking on the White House. He just would not have it any other way, (as first pointed out by Media Matters) regardless of what his own correspondents were telling him. Wolf had his storyline and he was sticking to it. Two of the correspondents he had just interviewed, and political analyst Paul Begala, had all pointed out to Wolf that the three most senior Republicans on the committee had sided with the Democrats in issuing the subpoenas. Cooperation by the two parties on this controversy was not a development that interested Mr. Blitzer, however, so he ignored information from his own experts and kept repeating the notion that "it's the latest in a series of showdowns between congressional Democrats and the White House."
On camera, Dana Bash tried to subtly correct the anchorbeard by explaining the overwhelming vote and its political implications. "That means that many, if not most, of the Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee actually thought that this was a good idea because this warrantless surveillance program has certainly been controversial in both parties, Wolf."
Elaine Quijano, who was also on one of the big screens in the situation room and was covering the subpoena story, reminded Blitzer of what he had just been told, apparently hoping the two correspondents could get him correctly on the record. "But as we heard Dana just point out," Quijano explained, "This was a bipartisan vote, Wolf, so Republicans are also on board with this. Wolf?"
The situation in the situation room was getting increasingly lame. Ignoring both of his correspondents, the newsman brought in Begala and asked him a question that made it sound like Blitzer had heard nothing that had just been said.
"Is there a possibility," he wanted to know, "that the Democrats might overreach in issuing all of these subpoenas, Paul, to this Republican administration? Sort of the way that Republicans overreached during the Clinton administration when you were a key figure in the White House? You understand the question?"
Begala explained to the tunnel-visioned Blitzer that the vote had been 13-3, which indicated that the majority of Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee were behind the idea. Wolf, though he had now been told three times, must have been looking at those paltry ratings numbers for the situation room because when the next hour of his show was broadcast at 7 p.m. that evening, he hadn't relented from his narrative. Wolf needed what the fiction writers refer to as "dramatic tension" and he wasn't about to surrender it, regardless of whether his own reportorial staff was telling him he had it all wrong.
"Tonight," Wolf said, as the soundtrack thumped beneath the shadows cast by his beard and furrowed brow, "a potential constitutional confrontation between congressional Democrats and the White House in the making, happening now."
Nah, not really. It wasn't happening now or earlier in the day or ever, actually. It was only happening in Wolfworld, where the armies of Armageddon have assembled, goodness and light have collided with the great dark, and only Wolf can sort it out. So stay tuned; it's all coming up next on the situation room.
I am not sure if life imitates art or art imitates life or they just bang their heads together regularly to no purpose. But Wolf's intransigence reminds me a scene in The Shipping News, the fine Annie Proulx novel turned into a movie. One of the central characters, Quoyle, has just landed a job at a small town paper and is getting a bit of advice from the publisher/editor on how to write a good piece.
Billy: It's finding the center of your story, the beating heart of it, that's what makes a reporter. You have to start by making up some headlines. You know: short, punchy, dramatic headlines. Now, have a look, what do you see? [Points at dark clouds at the horizon]
Billy: Tell me the headline.
Quoyle: Horizon Fills With Dark Clouds?
Billy: Imminent Storm Threatens Village.
Quoyle: But what if no storm comes?
Billy: Village Spared From Deadly Storm.
This happened to me in Omaha about 25 years ago when I was a young TV news correspondent. There was a forecast for a blizzard to dump a foot of snow on the city but "tragedy was narrowly averted" as the storm went north about 30 miles. Unfortunately, we had dispatched several crews to sound the alarm of impending chaos and to save ourselves from looking stupid we had to do a follow-up story the next day to explain. An editor had heard the storm might have done damage to a little college town named Blair, which was about a half hour north. I was ordered to fly up in the news chopper and survey the potential devastation. The mayor met me at the airstrip for an interview.
"You have any problems yesterday, Mr. Mayor?"
"Aw, no. We got the folks out of the college and everybody home early. It wasn't bad at all."
"Were you able to keep the roads clear?"
"Sure, not that much snow, really. You can see."
I sure could. From the helicopter, brown cornstalks dominated the landscape and there were a few white spots of old drifts from a previous snowfall. Stupidly, I went on the air and reported, "It also snowed in Blair yesterday. They too plowed their streets. But they also avoided problems as the snowfall was just as minimal as it was in Omaha. As you can see from our Action News Chopper, there was hardly any snow on the ground in Blair this morning."
I kept my job. Barely.
In the nascent days of TV, Ernie Kovacs was famously quoted as saying, "Television is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well-done." But it's not even a medium any more, especially television news.
It could be, though, if anyone had the courage to give it a try.